Posts Tagged ‘writing poetry’

20
Apr

The Grumpies

I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been so busy. Most of the time when I wanted to post and thought I’d take the time to do it, it was because I wanted to rant and gripe. I figured anyone reading here can probably do without that. But just for fun, let’s have a little today.

I feel genuinely unwell. I have a headache that won’t fade, I’m slightly nauseous, and I feel very tired. I think my overall blehckiness has something to do with the volatile weather we’ve been having. When I don’t feel well, things that I usually find only mildly irritating really burn my biscuits. I could rant on at least 10 topics at length right now, and at least two of those are writing-related.

I won’t rant at length, because my HEAD. But just to get a little bit off my chest I’ll tackle writers who don’t read, and the self-publishing debate.

“WRITERS” WHO DON’T READ: I KNOW. BUT I’M REALLY NOT JOKING

One would think there would be no such animal. Ha! It’s particularly widespread on poetry forums.

People who don’t read modern poetry should be drop-kicked the moment they try writing it. (And I feel the same about people who really don’t read books or any other type of writing, but think that it might be a good idea to try to write one. Why? Where does that idea come from? Tell us, so we may find this evil place and bathe it in fire.) So, drop-kicked. When they come to, they should then be given a swirly and mocked for fifteen minutes, before being presented with several volumes of high quality poetry (or fiction) that has been written within the last 50 years or so. After that, if they attempt to write a poem in which they rhyme love with dove or here with near, it’s time for a Clockwork Orange-like deprogramming.

Whew! I feel a little better already. Okay, the other thing

SELF-PUBLISHING: AM I THE ONLY ONE SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THIS?

I find the self-publishing model and the whole debate interesting. At least, I USED TO. I’m so sick of it now I want to gag. And if I hear one more person hold Amanda Hocking up as an example of why it’s a good idea to self-publish . . . ooh, SPORK IN THE EYEBALL. Yes, clearly Hocking did very well for herself, and if you self-publish, you could do that, too. The Powerball lottery winners make loads of cash. If you buy a ticket, you could do that, too. Granted, I think the odds of making a little money self-publishing are better than winning Powerball if, IF, you have a great manuscript.

And therein lies the rub. How many people who choose to self-publish actually have a terrific manuscript? I think if you factor in that detail, Powerball is looking pretty darn good.

Don’t get me wrong. Someone who labors over the manuscript, has readers that offer advice and suggestions, painstakingly edits and strives to make the writing and the story as good as she can could have a fantastic manuscript that has a great chance. But let’s you and I face a simple fact together. Most people who are self-publishing don’t do any of that. Sample a bunch of self-published novels at Smashwords if you think I’m exaggerating.

Furthermore, anyone who says “You should self-publish and just don’t even try New York because it’s a waste of time and money” OR “Never self-publish because it’ll be a waste of time and money” is someone you probably should smile at to humor him so you can get away more quickly, but not listen to.